![]() ![]() It’s the absence of doctors that is the bung in the bottle. ![]() It could be four or five hours until your next meeting …with a doctor.Īnd here’s the rub. But don’t be fooled, things are not looking up. Most are seen quite promptly on arrival, a triage nurse (or the cleaner) making an initial assessment. ‘If a cleaner is the only one available, I’ll see them.’ So it’s hard to tell the difference between a doctor and a cleaner and, in the end, perhaps you’re beyond caring. To be honest, you’re not always sure who’s who, everyone in different coloured ‘hospital scrubs’ tops no two the same. The staff are kind along the way everyone doing their weary best. ![]() They claim no medical knowledge at all, but on the plus side, possess lovely diction….and could probably guide you to A&E in various regional accents. I know a couple of actors ‘between jobs’ who work on 111 to supplement their income. ‘What should we do, 111? Is it serious?’ ‘Go to your nearest A&E’.īrilliant – we’d never have thought of that. My wife’s leg was increasing in size in nasty reaction to a spider (?) bite. We also were sent here after phoning 111. Rule One in A&E (as in Doctor’s surgeries): Never Upset Reception. He was a big man, but said he didn’t want to do that because it might upset them – ‘and then they’ll put me even further down the queue.’ He’s officially fine.Īt one point, I asked him if he’d checked with reception to make sure he hadn’t been forgotten. After seven hours, when a doctor has been found, this is confirmed. So here he is, and he feels fine, and reckons he’ll be fine. He fell over and banged his head, and was advised by 111 to come to A&E. By the time the man opposite us is able to leave, it’s been over seven hours. Kylie Minogue singing ‘I should be so lucky’ comes to mind. Of course, the ‘Five hour wait’ warning proves optimistic for some. It’s not hot by the time I get back, but the walk has warmed me up. Which all means a bit of a walk to a nearby petrol station if we want a hot drink. ![]() Why did we imagine the coffee machine would work? We long to be ethical - but like the door, it’s broken. The machine even promises Fairtrade coffee such a tease. Only tonight, Arthur doesn’t manage it either. We try – oh, how we try! It’s like the Arthur legend, with various knights of the realm trying and failing to pull the sword from the stone. Which makes it all the worse that the coffee machine doesn’t work either. So, day-time friends, really and why not? After all, what would people in A&E for the evening or the night want with refreshment, food or comfort? No one wanted to be there either, but you made the best of it.Īnd of course the ‘Friends’ shop – which would have been great - shut at 5.00pm and won’t be open again until 9.00am tomorrow. I imagine it must have been like this in the London Underground stations during the war, when people were sheltering during the Blitz. Once you’ve given up hope, stories can be heard, comedy can flourish. And you see it here in the peeling paint, in a system over-stretched in a main hospital entrance door that won’t close.īut we make the best of it because we’re British. In a recent survey, in which people were asked for a word to describe Britain at present, by far the most common word was ‘Broken’. It’s cold because the main entrance door is broken and cannot be closed, so the chill wind blows in. It’s surprisingly cold tonight and people ask for blankets, but supply is limited. The waiter arrives at his table and says ‘Your food is not ready - nor will it ever be.’ It reminds me of the cartoon, in which a customer waits for service in Café Disappointment. However cheerily they arrive, all abandon hope straight away, which is the best way to handle the A&E experience, where hope can kill, waiting fr your name to be called. And not much ‘hotel’ either, which particularly irritates her husband.īut the ‘five hour’ warning works its magic. Only she tripped over leaving the hotel for the first event and there’ll be no dancing for a while. ‘I was really looking forward to it,’ she says. Next to us are a couple who’ve come from Surrey to Eastbourne for a dance weekend. Who does? We are a gathering of ruined evenings of people for whom things have not worked out tonight some, shockingly so. Or, as the A&E sign put it on Saturday night, ‘Expect to wait for five hours from your arrival time’. Posted by Simon Parke, 07 August 2023, 10.51am ![]()
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